The teenage years are times of significant transformation and consternation. Teenagers reach a developmental stage characterized by the ability for abstract thinking and an internal motivation for independence. These developmental characteristics coupled with an eruption of pubescent hormonal transfiguration result in rapid physical and emotional change.

You may recognize that your teenager spends more time with friends; takes greater interest in their own physical appearance; appears moodier; initiates communication with you less frequently; desires greater privacy; and spends more time alone while at home. These characteristic behaviors are all normal and healthy signs of teenage social development, albeit, maddening for parents! Parents are often concerned about teens who return home from school each day and head straight to their room for alone time. Rest assured, this is normal and quite different than a teen experiencing loneliness.

Episodic events such as long-term illness, parental divorce, death of a loved one and moving to a new community can result in a sense of loneliness that exceeds the norm for this developmental stage. If any of these conditions exist, it is important for parents and other adult caregivers to provide consistent subtle support to the teen as they seek to overcome loneliness. If parents become too intrusive as they attempt to provide support, the teen may perceive these parental efforts as meddlesome or as an intrusion.

A minority of teenagers experiences periods of prolonged difficulty with social development and adjustment during these years. Because peer relations are of such importance in healthy teen development, the child experiencing difficulty in establishing and maintaining a stable network of peer relations often feels isolated and rejected. This, in turn, may result in lengthy periods of loneliness.

Regardless of the catalyst for the onset of acute loneliness, there are behavioral warning signs for which to watch.

• A preoccupation with their perceived flaws, for example, weight, height, beauty, acne, coordination, intelligence, etc.
• A sharp increase in passive activities such as watching television, playing video games and simply moping in the home
• A declining interest in school which is due to the fact that this is where their sense of social inadequacy is most powerfully experienced
• A significant reduction in academic motivation and achievement
• A significant reduction in familial communication
• A lack of interest in extra-curricular and after school experiences

Acute loneliness in teenagers may result in emotional changes, which can adversely affect normal development. Some of the potential emotional changes include:

• A steady decline in self-confidence
• A steady decline in self-esteem
• Patterns of non-verbal expressions of unhappiness, worry and a sullen disposition
• A general sense of inadequacy
• Lack of motivation and a general sense of malaise

Many of the above characteristics are also associated with adolescent depression. The National Institute for Mental Health (NIMH) estimates that up to eight percent of adolescents in the United States suffer from depression. For more information on adolescent depression and other emotional health topics that may contribute to loneliness click on http://www.nimh.nih.gov/publicat/childnotes.cfm.